Linkin Park - 'A Thousand Suns' Review

27.9.10

Linkin Park - 'A Thousand Suns' Review

I get excited by album releases from my favourite bands. Not so excited that I'm reaching for the nearest box of Kleenex (that's only for when Pat Butcher comes on screen) but it's pretty damn close!

It was of no surprise then that I felt the twinges in my loins at the news that Linkin Park were to release their latest offering 'A Thousand Suns' in September. I eagerly sat in anticipation for the CD to become available... legally...

For the rest of you... SHAME on you! Though secretly I admire you for your cunningness. It's that kind of attitude that won us the war and allowed the country to have role models such as Katie Price and Dale Winton. Can you imagine a German X Factor? No? DAMN YOU HITLER!

Let's get something quite clear here though. With 'A Thousand Suns' I was expecting a return to form. After the near-miracles of 'Hybrid Theory' and 'Meteora', a four year wait ensued before the fan base were offered the album equivalent of returning to masturbation after the break up of your relationship; nowhere near as good as what you were used to.

So after a further three years (of waiting, not masturbating) 'LP' return with a new album hoping to win back some support after it was somewhat doused with the previous attempt.

Oh how they fail.

At first glance 'A Thousand Suns' impresses with its listing of 15 tracks, a feat that most bands these days would run into a corner and cry over. That's where the nodding and grunts of approval end very rapidly.

Atrocious front cover aside (an attempt purely to allow those with cataracts not to feel left out) there is a great deal of disappointment with this release. The one major set back that is clearly noticeable are the abundance of skits. What is this, the Marshall Mathers LP?! Without much ado the listener finds themselves listening to what appears to be the cataclysmic furore of an undoubtedly lavish and exciting endeavour, only to realise that in the blink of an eye they are already on track 3 and a fifth of the way through the album. Ho-Hum.

To put it bluntly, Linkin Park (even when studio recorded) just aren't as musically gifted as what they used to be. On various tracks, such as the outro song 'The Messenger' lead vocalist Chester Bennington's struggle to hit the right notes is all too easily demonstrated when only accompanied by an acoustic guitar and piano. Joseph Hahn does not execute the same skill on the decks that glistened through their opening two albums.

Which brings me on nicely to the weakest link. Mike Shinoda, LP's resident rapper, is proving to be the Achilles heel. Only the greatest die hard fan ever considered Shinoda to be a talented rapper in the first place, yet his inability and aching amateurishness becomes evident on 'A Thousand Suns'. His vacuous rhymes reek of a small dog barking about how big it thinks it really is.

And I'm not a robot/I'm not a monkey/I will not dance even if the beat's funky

With all this chest beating and swagger you would expect the talent to be flowing from the lyrics he spits. On the contrary I believe that if Linkin Park are to have a follow up album they need to do so without this joker for he is the leech sucking the life from what was a prize stallion.

So here's a track-by-track summary for you pop pickers out there... because I'm kind like that;

1. The Requiem - An impressive opening track, proving to be the only time a skit is properly used in the entire album. A mellow entrance gradually rising into a melee of heartbeats and raised vocals by (apparently) Mike Shinoda though if you listen carefully enough it does sound scarily like Diana Vickers. Shit, we're back to X Factor, how did THAT happen?! 7/10

2. The Radiance - Spoken words by J. Robert Oppenheimer, apparently this is a stand-alone track but fails to become one as it merges so seamlessly between tracks 1 and 3 that really it should just be considered the ending 58 seconds of 'The Requiem'. A respectable skit nonetheless, adding an element of tension and anticipation that does nothing but raise the temperature. 6/10

3. Burning In The Skies - Wrong. Wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong WRONG! Very simplistic for an apparent review I know but... WRONG! Track listing was quite possibly down to producer Rick Rubin, but even if it wasn't then whoever chose this as track 3 was clearly shooting bubbles into his veins via a hypodermic. You cannot have two tracks (albeit skits) of pure anticipation followed by a relatively mellow radio-friendly bop-and-karaoke-along number. It's the equivalent of taking a break-neck, petrol-fueled opening score and once the opening credits have ended you're left with Bambi. DID I BUY THE WRONG TICKET?! Though the chorus is somewhat catchy, it does sound a little on the tame side and does not fit with the expectation of a wall-shattering thrash track. Considering this is the opening song, the listener is left with a little bitterness in the mouth, thinking to themselves "jolly, but I hope that it picks up soon". Airy, but somewhat caged at the same time. 4/10

4. Empty Spaces - Holy shit, another skit already?! I've only had one complete song and I'm already just over a quarter of the way through! 'Empty Spaces' comprises of 18 seconds of war sound effects accompanied by the chirping of crickets. Poetic. So poetic I might actually cum. Nurse, trousers! 1/10

5. When They Come For Me - Oh dear. If anyone wanted evidence of Mike Shinoda's gaping hole in ability then this is exhibits A, B, C and D. Though the initial chugs and Nine Inch Nail sound effects, accompanied by almost jungle-style rhythms leaves the imagination wanting more, it's Shinoda's lyrics and rapping that leaves the listener wincing. Out-dated, monotonous, lacking originality or promise, the rhymes are childish at best simply relying on the hilarious overuse of the curse 'motherfucker'. Shinoda is 33 years old and has apparently only just discovered this term. Bless. Half way through the song there is light relief in the form of Chester Bennington, gently echoing the track title repetitively (albeit very similarly to 'Hey Jude'... strange). Arabic wailing and musical signatures make this a very confusing track indeed, like an attempt to please everyone at once but failing on every level. Very poor. 3/10

6. Robot Boy - With its 'fight against the man' message and ridiculous title, it's a little difficult to take this song seriously. In an attempt to sound harmonious, the vocals are what let this song down dramatically. The pitch is completely off key and left me squinting in disbelief on numerous occasions. Though to be fair I was just happy to have two complete songs in a row! Uninspiring, and lends a little too much to 'Cry' by Michael Jackson. 2/10

7. Jornada Del Muerto - Spanish for "single day's journey of the dead man", this song is very much like it's namesake - a desert basin, dry as hell, and with not much in it. Yes folks we have another skit, a return of the heartbeat theme, and to be fair by this point I'm questioning whether this album is going to get any better in the second half. Fingers crossed. 3/10

8. Waiting For The End - Listed as the third song to be released as a single it is becoming clear that the record label (Warner Bros.) had a difficult job finding one single, let alone three! With an opening guitar riff change stolen from Blink 182's 'Feeling This' and slightly modified, Shinoda provides a rap signature that could have fitted nicely in an episode of Sesame Street. I would say that the song was rescued by Bennington, but in fact (were it possible) he makes it turn even worse. 'Drone' is not the word. Maybe 'whine' is. Maybe 'howl', I'm not sure. A very safe effort from Linkin Park, no doubt worthy of being lapped up by radio stations across the nation but lacking the bite we expect from the nu-metallers. 4/10



9. Blackout - At last, a semi-decent track, albeit over half way through the album. With it's unsettling piano chords of impending doom, creepy bleeps reminiscent of a Linkin Park we once knew and the familiar screams of 'Push It Back Down' I found that usual smile returning to my face that I used to associate with an LP song. A surprisingly impressive Slipknot-esque series of blips and screams midway fed my starved brain with some musical fuel, only to have it cruelly taken away by Shinoda 3 minutes in with some (yet again) amateurish singing and schoolboy lyrics. Would have been a gem of a track were it not for the meddling of the leech. A shame that his efforts took the sheen away, but it does not defer the fact that this is by far the best effort on 'A Thousand Suns' by a good mile. 8/10

10. Wretches And Kings - With a spirit churning intro by Mario Savio followed by (again) Nine Inch Nail-esque guttural chords and SFX, this promises to be another worthy effort only for Shinoda to (yet again, notice a theme?) ruin the mood with some more amateurish spittings about power and rising against it.

From the front to the back and the side to side/If you feel what I feel, put'em up real high

Although this is his best attempt, it still proves just how much of a liability he is proving to be. Though Bennington does nothing to rescue the melody with what can almost be described as a faux-Jamaican take on singing style. Sadly this falls desperately into the 'could have been' category, and had the idea been used 7 years ago it 'would have been'. Messy to say the least. 6/10

11. Wisdom, Justice and Love - Martin Luther King Jnr lends hand with the vocals in this skit accompanied by a solitary tinkering on the piano. Strangely hypnotic, especially due to the distortion placed on the voice of Mr. King towards the end of the skit. Lavish, yet obvious in it's pointlessness. Still, it's nice to know that Martin Luther King can be sample to sound like a Transformer! I AM MEGATRONNNNNNNN! 6/10

12. Iridescent - The second single from the album and an obvious choice (for the idiot anyways). Coldplay would be turning in their angst ridden graves were they actually dead. Shinoda does his best Chris Martin impression in the opening verse only to have Bennington belt out the soon-to-be-overplayed-on-radio chorus. This is a brave attempt at a musical 'epic' in a similar vein to 'All These Things That I've Done' by The Killers, only without the depth, weight or originality (obviously). One for the weepies out there, but for the die hard 'SHUT UP WHEN I'M TALKING TO YOOOOU' fans this might seem a little on the twee side. Not terrible, but if your only choices are a kick in the teeth or a kick in the bollocks then really there aren't any winners. 6/10

13. Fallout - So we're back to skit city and as an autotuned voice appears I instantly panic thinking that I've accidentally switched to Ke$ha's album, but don't worry pop fans this is simply Shinoda working his 'magic' once again on the theme of 'What I Don't Deserve'. A gaping mess of a track, unnecessary and irrelevant. 2/10

14. The Catalyst - Here it is, the opening single from the album. The song that is meant to generate interest for those who have £10 sitting in their pocket. The song that is meant to scream "HERE WE ARE! LISTEN TO US BECAUSE THIS IS WHAT WE CAN DO AND THIS IS WHAT WE HAVE TO SAY!". Instead what we have is a shouty cacophony on an overly long track (5 minutes 40 for a single?! Who is this, Meatloaf?!). Rock combines with sound effects and electronica that smells a little bit like sweaty teenagers screaming down a microphone. Or 'Enter Shikari' as I like to call them... Pompous, pretentious and smacks of "We are oh so important". 'One Step Closer' this is not. 'Somewhere I Belong' this is not. 'What I've Done' this is not. A poor twang at an opening single is the pigeon hole that this belongs in. Saved only by its far superior second half, Bennington's sing-along of "Lift me up/let me go", I am left wondering where it went so wrong and why this was ever considered worthy of gracing the singles chart. 5/10

15. The Messenger - Fuck me, Daniel Bedingfield is back. I've missed him. Oh sorry, I thought it was him, it's just whenever I hear an album that has so many musical styles on it I assume it must be him and his big fat sweaty face. Actually what we have is an out of place second rate acoustic stab from Chester Bennington giving us a singing lesson in how to sound like a £10 Rod Stewart impersonator. Atrocious, utterly atrocious. Bennington's vocals are shockingly weak in this, probably by this point he is so high on cocaine and Cillit Bang that it's no wonder I expect the chorus to be 'Maggie May'. Whilst LP's previous final tracks were surprisingly awesome, this is the final whimper in a whole series of whimpers that leaves the head shaking and the spirit draining. Pathetic. 2/10

Okay, so it does not take a genius to conclude that I didn't exactly think much of this album. I wanted to, I really wanted to. Yet all I was left with was a feeling of bitter disappoint and immense pain in my ever-grinding teeth. Rick Rubin may have helped produced one of the most lavish Linkin Park albums of all time (some of the production skills on show really are quite breath-taking) but it's a little bit like a fancy cover on a film directed by Uwe Boll, and 'A Thousand Suns' doesn't even have a fancy cover...

Shallow and lacking. A very poor attempt from one of the true pioneers of the nu-metal scene, showing exactly why changing musical style is a gamble that most artists really should avoid.